Everyone Hates Me Today

Everyone hates me today, and that’s cool…because if I am going to be honest, I am not too fond of their behavior either. I get it. I do. It is summer. The sun is shining. The birds are bathing in stagnate water. It is pure magic. So when I ask my children to do work, I expect a little bit of push back, but today is like a full on revolt. And now, because the gauntlet has been thrown, we have waged war. I do not back down from terrorists, no matter how much I love them or how cute they are.

I promise that I am not asking for much. I’m asking for one math lesson and one phonics lesson. The actual equivalent of 30 whole minutes of actual work.

At the moment we are on hour 4 of the hostage situation. There’s been no screaming or fighting, just a whole lot of whining, fake ailments, and massive excuses.

You want to torture me with your non-stop whining? I’m going to have to retaliate.

How might a mother retaliate against her children for their educational revolt?

I added peas INTO their  mac and cheese at lunch (gasp)! I wish you all could have heard my maniacal laugh as they came to the table and saw the round green balls of doom.




When it all falls apart

In the past week it seems like our house has literally been falling apart one piece at a time. It started with the plumbing. Escalated to the air conditioning. And then smaller things, like my vacuum, decided to join the club of broken valuables.

So our basement is flooding every time we do a load of laundry. Our house is hot, with one small exception. And now I can’t vacuum up messes. Overall, I am one spilled bowl of cereal away from a stiff drink and dozen donuts.

I’m overwhelmed, hot, and irritable, and then there are my children…who have been arguing constantly.

So here is how life goes: They snap at one another. I snap at them for snapping. Then they argue with me about who is actually at fault for the original grievance, and then full blown arguing begins. I try to calmly diffuse the situation, but nine times out of ten, Jonah’s voice goes high, Luke goes on the defensive, and Jude takes his stance as the boss until the moment ends with me yelling for everyone to stop.

It isn’t even 5:00 yet, and I am already exhausted and dreading this upcoming week.

This arguing isn’t normal for us, and when they act like this, I seriously doubt my effectiveness as a mother. I know that children argue and fight. It is completely normal, but I also know that when my children act like this, they deep down know better. A part of me feels like I am failing them. And because I am the way I am, I beat myself up about it.

And then I walk upstairs to their room and see a note pinned to the board above Jonah’s bed. And all of a sudden, I can breathe again.

I am not failing. Obviously I am doing something right. IMG_20170723_163956

Starting Over…Again

When this blog started it was about my son’s autism and how I attempted to deal with it all. We searched and searched for a diagnosis, then therapies, then breakthroughs. Years later, here we are. We have a six year old child who is amazingly bright, hilariously funny, and above all, happy. We have sacrificed a lot. We have given everything we could. Every single member of this family has given a lot to get to this point, and I think we can all agree that it was well worth it. Our life looks so different now, and maybe that is why I decided to start blogging again. I never imagined my life would look the way it does, and at the same time there is so much that I still need to change.

Who are we now?

We are a small town family who digs holes, hunt frogs, and seek out dirt like it’s air. We’ve added two dogs, two cats, 7 chickens, and 2 ducks to our family. My three boys all have their own unique gifts, which they use to support one another in whatever mischief they can find. We are also now homeschoolers! That’s right. We walked away from public school and started our homeschooling journey in October of last year.

And while this has been an awesome ride, I have learned a lot about my children and myself. The first thing I learned?

1. My weight is not my friend, and as I watch my boys grow, I am starting to worry about their health as well. I have struggled with my weight my entire life, and I want to empower my children to make healthy choices.

2.School is hard, but public school is nearly impossible. My children (8,6, and 4) had to deal with issues and struggles that I never would have expected them to be faced with at such a young age. Their self confidence, self worth, and creativity after just a few short years was gone. In light of those issues (and many others) we decided to homeschool. But you know what? Homeschooling is hard! Homeschooling is so hard that some days I cry in the shower because I feel like I am failing my children. But the truth of the matter is that they are happier, thriving, and growing in so many ways it is hard to track.

3. Autism is a struggle, but the payoff is amazing. We still have daily battles, but they don’t consume us like they used to. And while certain things may be harder than others, I thank God every day for this child and his gift. He sees the world in a way that no one else does, and I am lucky enough that he shares his insight with me.

4. My two other children need way more than love and attention that I thought. I’ve spent so much time over the past couple of years with therapies and drills to get Jo to progress that I sometimes forgot that I have two other children who need me just as much as he does. That’s hard. It is hard to admit that I gave one child more, but it is even harder to watch the other who fight for attention. We have come a long way with splitting up attention, but we still have so much further to go.

5. I am, and will always be, a work in progress. I am a hot mess. I’m the mom in gym shorts, a t-shirt, no make-up, and frizzy hair who spouts off dirty jokes in hushed whispers to other moms while the kids play at the playground. I read trashy romance novels just as much as I read Margaret Atwood. I will never have all my eggs in basket or row, and if I am going to be completely honest, most of my eggs are broken because my children drop them in the lawn after collecting them from the chicken coop. I’m awkward, overweight, and full of sarcasm. I am also so completely awesome. I know this to be true because my kids tell me every single day.

So, this is where we begin. This is my gift to you: our crazy homeschooling, autism, sensory seeking, weight loss, healthier lifestyle, boys will be crazy-mischief-maker journey! I hope you enjoy it as much as I do.